I think and believe that culture and taste is a very individual thing "it is like a nose everyone has their own" - I don't ask anyone to like it. But living in shared places has this kind of inconveniency. What can I do? I thought this event would be for showing the Amazon and its beauty... I didn't know the backgrounds of Anton and Mark. I thought and I then thought some more... I have experienced setbacks in my life, who hasn't? But besides the commitment of giving my daughter Maria Reis as much as I can I don’t have anything to prove to anyone. And that is it.

More than showing the Amazon, and its beauties and issues, for me this trip has been both treacherous and rewarding. I'm used to physical challenges but this has become more than that, a mix of competing egos, unfinished personal issues, experiments with emotional balance, and the 24x7 lack of privacy.

I have told them both that I have long time lost my hope for humans and have got myself attached to nature. I will do my share to get to the ocean and I can’t change the way they feel (I can't change anyone's feelings) and I can't fulfill anyone's expectations. We have done so far so good regardless the Big Brother bullshit stress, emotions and drama like being on a reality show. What counts is we got to Tefé as we had planned and what matters for me at the end is this will be just another page of history.

Life is too short to be struggling and spending energy wondering if this, if that.

Image: Sunset on Taphiche © Deborah Chen